entomology 101
On Monday I went to work and was feeling fine until about 10am when I was suddenly just real tired, and had the beginnings of what ended up as a splitting headache. In addition, I’ve had an on and off cold for the past 3 weeks which is very very minor but doesn’t want to seem to go away. By the time 2pm rolled around my brain was throbbing and I just wanted to go to sleep, so I left and grabbed a cab (this is rare) so I could get home as fast as possible and do a face plant into my bed.
My apartment is on the 9th floor, and the wind at this altitude (height? I don’t know) is usually pretty strong. This is good, because it means my apartment stays cool if I leave the window open. I’ve never really used the ceiling fan, which is pretty amazing given how hot it’s been here. One of the great lessons of my time here is that you can live without air conditioning in a tropical climate. Amazing.
So I got home, threw everything into the corner, stripped down to my boxers (I apologize if that gives you the kind of visual you could have lived without today) and slumped into my bed. I was maybe 20 seconds from heavy, dreamless sleep when a freaking bug landed on my face. I did what anybody would do which was to say something like “Ffffmmff” and frantically brushed him off my face. It turned out to be one of these antlike bugs that show up wherever there’s food, but are about as harmless as can be. I flicked him off my covers and tried to go to sleep again.
Within 2 minutes I felt another tickling on my arm, and of course it was another one of those bugs. I swore, and swatted him away too. Before I could get to sleep another one landed on my face. At this point it seemed like a pattern. I looked at the ceiling and yeah, there were a few of them crawling around there, but what were the chances they were all losing their grip and landing on my face? Not likely, I thought. And I didn’t really want to get into a deep analysis of the whole situation because my head was throbbing, I was so tired I could barely stand, and so I said f it and tried to go back to sleep and ignore the problem. But nope, it happened again – another one landed on my face. And this one had wings.
At this point I realized that they must be flying in the window. Right outside are a bunch of palm trees and tropical shrubs, which I’m sure make a perfect home for these guys. The wind must have been blowing them in. I saw also that the ones with wings would land and immediately drop their wings, which looked to me like some sort of post-adult stage. Fascinating. Now get the f out of my apartment and let me sleep. Save it for the Discovery Channel audition.
What really sucks is that if I closed the window I would lose my wind and the apartment would get hot, making falling and staying asleep more difficult. At this point the whole situation got to my head and I sort of lost it. I got my broom, got on my bed and killed all the bugs on the ceiling. Then I went and found all the ones on the floor and stamped them out too. “No more flicking, guys! It’s a showdown now! You brought this on yourselves!” Luckily my neighbors don’t understand English. I wasn’t too far from running in circles in my apartment (in boxers, mind you) swatting at my head and yelling like some sort of lunatic. All I wanted to do was sleep. But of course what day and time would the quasi-ants decide to plan their invasion but when the target was most vulnerable.
Eventually I got rid of them all and calmed down a little bit. They didn’t seem to be coming in the window any more, or at least with less frequency, so I left the window open. I then repeated the aforementioned face plant, and fell asleep probably within 10 seconds. I’m sure I had more bugs landing on my face while I was sleeping, but I was so down for the count that it didn’t matter. Fine with me.
My apartment is on the 9th floor, and the wind at this altitude (height? I don’t know) is usually pretty strong. This is good, because it means my apartment stays cool if I leave the window open. I’ve never really used the ceiling fan, which is pretty amazing given how hot it’s been here. One of the great lessons of my time here is that you can live without air conditioning in a tropical climate. Amazing.
So I got home, threw everything into the corner, stripped down to my boxers (I apologize if that gives you the kind of visual you could have lived without today) and slumped into my bed. I was maybe 20 seconds from heavy, dreamless sleep when a freaking bug landed on my face. I did what anybody would do which was to say something like “Ffffmmff” and frantically brushed him off my face. It turned out to be one of these antlike bugs that show up wherever there’s food, but are about as harmless as can be. I flicked him off my covers and tried to go to sleep again.
Within 2 minutes I felt another tickling on my arm, and of course it was another one of those bugs. I swore, and swatted him away too. Before I could get to sleep another one landed on my face. At this point it seemed like a pattern. I looked at the ceiling and yeah, there were a few of them crawling around there, but what were the chances they were all losing their grip and landing on my face? Not likely, I thought. And I didn’t really want to get into a deep analysis of the whole situation because my head was throbbing, I was so tired I could barely stand, and so I said f it and tried to go back to sleep and ignore the problem. But nope, it happened again – another one landed on my face. And this one had wings.
At this point I realized that they must be flying in the window. Right outside are a bunch of palm trees and tropical shrubs, which I’m sure make a perfect home for these guys. The wind must have been blowing them in. I saw also that the ones with wings would land and immediately drop their wings, which looked to me like some sort of post-adult stage. Fascinating. Now get the f out of my apartment and let me sleep. Save it for the Discovery Channel audition.
What really sucks is that if I closed the window I would lose my wind and the apartment would get hot, making falling and staying asleep more difficult. At this point the whole situation got to my head and I sort of lost it. I got my broom, got on my bed and killed all the bugs on the ceiling. Then I went and found all the ones on the floor and stamped them out too. “No more flicking, guys! It’s a showdown now! You brought this on yourselves!” Luckily my neighbors don’t understand English. I wasn’t too far from running in circles in my apartment (in boxers, mind you) swatting at my head and yelling like some sort of lunatic. All I wanted to do was sleep. But of course what day and time would the quasi-ants decide to plan their invasion but when the target was most vulnerable.
Eventually I got rid of them all and calmed down a little bit. They didn’t seem to be coming in the window any more, or at least with less frequency, so I left the window open. I then repeated the aforementioned face plant, and fell asleep probably within 10 seconds. I’m sure I had more bugs landing on my face while I was sleeping, but I was so down for the count that it didn’t matter. Fine with me.
posted by n10471 at 6:35 AM
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